Counting the Cost of Hosting

So much to process and say, only have a few minutes, but wanted to get some of it down. What struck me about the airport was the other host families.


One, single mom of 2 adopted Chinese daughters hosted in Indiana. They drove to DC to get Mia three weeks ago and Jill, flew with Mia yesterday from Indiana so Mia could fly to Chicago to get her connecting flight to Beijing. Seeing Jill's love, dedication, sacrifice for these children is so beautiful. I am so glad to have met this beautiful woman! So many logical obstacles could have stopped her. Time, money, energy, singleness, her girls starting school, work....but no, she shared her life with Mia.

 Then there is Tracy and family. We would not have done this without their faithful example! Time and time again, they take his step of faith to love these orphans. Look at their smiles! How they beam! Don't you see Jesus just shining from them? They open up their house to awkward, homesick, different people, in the name of Jesus. And guess what?!  THEY ARE BLESSED!

 And Kristy! She watched Tracy for years and took a leap of faith. The first meeting she thought, "what have I gotten in to?" In the end, she and her family were the ones who received the blessings! And see that lady in blue? She is a friend of a friend from Texas, who flew up to meet Andy since he will be her son! Had Kristy and her family not taken this risk, Andy would be aging out within a year working in a factory. Now he will be a big brother to 4 other boys and have a mom and a dad!

 This mom in the jean capris, is gorgeous! She has 4 biological kids, adopted 2 with Downs from Bulgaria (5th, 6th) and then gave birth to her 7th. They have 7 kids, and decided to host! They actually stepped up at the last minute when Weston's host family fell through. They drove 6 hours from Pennsylvania to DC! Her heart! Her love for Jesus, her beautiful family, her husband, their tears as they said goodbye to Weston their host child.....so dear! 

And my friend Ann! She signed up to host at the last minute when Alexis' family fell through so she could experience this with us. Well, her child came on time so they didn't even over lap. Ann has 3 other kids and one is a 2 yr old. It would have been easy for her to say 'no' and it was a challenging month, but God met her. Alexis got her love tank filled and experienced thing she never would have!

I was so struck by these beautiful families! They are not pre-worrying about the hardships they could face or the obstacles they have to overcome! They are just loving these kids one day at a time. They didn't let money, time, inconvenience, differences, distance, other children, and worldly comforts stand in their way. And as a result, they were blessed! Oh the bitter sweet joy we all felt having given part of our hearts to these children. Oh, the beautiful blessing of relying on Jesus for our energy, sustenance, and sanity.

 I am blessed! Honored that Jesus peeled back the curtain a bit and showed me more of His glory. Loved by my friends and family who have asked, prayed, checked in, supported, and cared for us.

If you think God may be asking you to take this "leap of faith" to host, contact us. My friend Tracy is hoping to get 10 kids to Richmond next summer. Read Tracy's blog to see her Hosting Challenge .

As for us, still relaxing in His love, seeking His will, and enjoying our best summer yet!

Our Last Day

I know I haven't blogged much lately. We have had a lot going on. We were on pins and needles as we awaited the news that after months of an internship, Perry finally got the job he wanted! Praising God for His faithfulness to us! I got a skin infection which really debilitated me and now the antibiotics are causing side effects. We have sort of circled our wagons and spent a lot of time together around the house.

Last night I maybe slept 4 hours. I AM DREADING the drop off tomorrow at the airport. DREADING! My stomach is in knots (not sure if it is the antibiotic/grief or what).  These last few days have had a lingering, sad undertone. He HAS to go back (3 week visa) and after 10 months of unemployment, a $35K adoption seems impossible.
Praying the Lord would continue to soothe my soul, and that I would trust His plan for our lives and Jude's. Praying that I can savor this last 28 hours. 

One week left...

There hasn't been much to report. We have been shuttling the girls back and forth to various camps all week, so the boys have been playing contently at home. Perry did take them to Bass Pro Shops where they bought a little gun that kills flies. They have been enjoying hunting flies inside the house.

We went bowling with cousins, pizza picnic and to the pool with friends,

Our dentists, Dr. Lawrence and Dr. Friend at  RVA Dental Care , donated a full cleaning, x-rays, fluoride treatment and sealed his back 4 molars!

No cavities!

Day 11

Phew, we had so many personal things to think about/ sort through that the blog had to take the back burner. We are thoroughly enjoying Jude and he is enjoying his time here! Turns out he is human! He has relaxed and is reveling in the freedom and love he is experiencing here. That being said, I have had to call his name, sometimes 3 times, before he responds and obeys. And, he did actually say "no" to me when I offered him pancakes. :)

Jude is about 9 months older than our youngest daughter. She loves translating to him through charades.

Last night we enjoyed dinner at another host family's house. Here the boys are playing trains.

Jude thinks "Baba" is SOOOO funny. Perry hid Mickey in his shirt and Jude laughed hysterically looking for him! "Baba" took the boys to Bass Pro Shop today to look around and play.

He also has discovered the scooter!

Day 7 and 8

Friday, one week, wow so much has changed in this boy in such a short time! After Perry taught him how to hug, he really enjoys trying out his new skill with our family.

We took it a lighter day and went to the library and HOPE Thrift.

At the thrift store, he held up 2 toy cars. Our goal is not to spoil him, but to parent him like we would our own. So I looked at the cars and held up 1 finger, "pick one" and he quickly set the truck down. Bummer he picked the police car that made 3 different siren noises.

At home, I found a little Spiderman Lego set that I had picked up at clearance one day. I handed him the box. He jumped up and down and said, "sank you!". He opened the box, laid out the parts, and put it together while N watched in about 6 minutes.

I got him a little pencil box to keep his Legos in and he has played with it (as in Spiderman attacks the bad guy with his web) taken it apart and reassembled at least 4 times, I saw Spiderman lift off the hood to check the car, and he drives the car around. At night, he disassembles it, puts us in his pencil box and then tucks it in his backpack. Last night we babysat at my sister's house. My nephew said, "I really like having Jude around. He makes things interesting."

This morning my sister and her husband called and invited us to a spontaneous Water Country Trip.

Despite the large crowds we had a great time. Midway, Jude was trying to tell me something. I didn't have my phone, so I started my "Excuse me, do you speak Mandarin?" to anyone who looked like they may. It was embarrassing, but the boy needed to tell me something. I needed to advocate. I finally found a lovely lady who was happy to help. He wanted a hamburger.

No hamburgers, but I got him some lunch. Although as it was getting hotter and he would complain, my brother in law pointed out, "Well it is nice to not understand his complaining". It was. I figured he was hot or tired because of his body language, and he only mumbled his complaints, never a tantrum or refusal, but it was actually nice to hear one fewer complainers.

Observations:

He does not like sweet potato chips.

One of his favorite things is to just hang out at home and play with toys.

He is much more comfortable showing us affection.

He has a great sense of humor.

Day 6

 For not having a pool membership, we sure do go to plenty of pools! Today we met another host family, the Scoggins at their pool with some other friends from church and a very special family.

You see, Christmas 2014, The Scoggins hosted their first Chinese friend, JQ. While he was here, a dear photographer from church (adopted herself) took professional pictures of JQ. In March 2015, a mom in Nebraska saw the photo of him and inquired. They were connected to the Scoggins' family who were able to rave about JQ. He was adopted (he has 3 Chinese siblings) that September and has been in his family almost a year! JQ is the one with the green towel scarf. That is his mom, not me in the blue.

Seeing him, speaking English, connected to his family, it was a slice of Heaven. Hearing how his story unfolded, how God had them "zag" when they thought to "zig" was amazing! And to hear that he is well adjusted, in public school, and has been their easiest addition (even though he was 8) is inspiring. WOW! What a treasure to see the other side of hosting. To see how God used hosting to set him into his family!

Jude and Han (Scoggins' current hosting kid) had quite the conversation today. I secretly recorded it and sent it to Tianni. It went something like this:

Han: Shouldn't I eat?

Jude: Not if you are not hungry.

Han: If it is something good, eat a lot of it

Jude: Don't eat too much, even if it is good. If you ride on the Ferris Wheel you will feel sick and dizzy.

 

Basically, these kids have no idea what we have planned each day. We just say, "get your shoes on" and we are off to the next park or adventure. Cute how Jude is pacing himself on the food, just in case we take him to an amusement park....he won't get sick.

Han was saying something- I recorded it. Then Jude started licking my ice pack, so I bought them ice cream. Then Tianni writes back with the translation, "He is cold".

Oops! Maybe ice cream wasn't the answer!

Day 6 Observations:

He loves hugs and kisses from Mama and Baba.

JQ's mom (4 x adoption expert) said everything she observed was positive. He is a healthy, well adjusted kid. She could tell by his interaction with me that he lived in a foster home and not just the confines of an orphanage.

Now I know why he doesn't take seconds....The Ferris Wheel Factor

Day 5

I was just too tired to blog last night. Yesterday morning we picked up some friends and headed to the blueberry patch. It was hot, so we were not there long. We then went to a shady park and ran around.

After the park, Jude was introduced to Chic-Fil-A.

We came home and rested for an hour and then a dear friend met us at Lewis Ginter and got us in on her annual pass! The kids ran around and had a wonderful time! It was an added blessing that I could catch up with my former roommate.

After we got home, 2 of us rushed out for a middle school ice cream social at the school library. This actually was a blessing. Perry had a very sweet time at home with the other 3 kids. One of my concerns is Jude's attachment. I'm not sure he knew how to hug. He would get really close to Perry with his arms at his side and lean into him, until Perry would lift him up in a hug. Yesterday, Perry extended his arms wide and asked Jude to do the same, he learned to hug. He loves hugging! He comes close to us and wraps his arms around us! Last night he went up to Perry and kissed his cheek multiple times. Perry played a game with him, where Perry smelled his showered feet and pretended like they smelled. Soon, Jude smelled Perry's feet, got a shocked look on his face, and pretended to faint. We laughed hysterically and so did Jude! SOOOO funny! Perry and I were chatting after we tucked them in and he heard us. So all of our kids jumped out of bed to join us on our bed while we chatted. Jude jumped right up and hugged Perry! Then he got in a couple more of the slap your hand games he adores.

He is definitely growing fond of us as we are of him. Our children have been great with him. I think it helps that he is not pesky. He plays alone and with others.

Day 5 Observations:

He loves playing Loopin' Louie

He is content to look at books

He can color very well

He is delightful

Below are links to the other host kids! Please read and share their posts!

Andy (Kristy Porterfield)

Han (Tracy Scoggins)

Day 4

"Ahh, this is nice"

Today we went to a lovely friend's home where my Wellspring Bible study women met up for coffee while our children played. Such a great time reconnecting. Jude came in towards the end and leaned into me so I could put my arm around him. A dear friend lent us her Chinese children's CD and he was singing along to the common songs on the way home!

We went to Trader Joes and then stopped by Petco where he LOVED looking at all the animals.

We ran into Nemo and Dory there! After lunch and rest at home, some dear friends invited us to their pool for swimming and dinner! They invited another family of which the dad spent 2 years in China learning Mandarin through the IMB. He was incredibly helpful! At one point Jude leaned back in his float and said in Mandarin, "Ahh, this is nice!"

What a delightful night! It was so nice to have plans, enjoy these families' company and be treated to dinner.

He loved the waterslide. He told our new friend that he was enjoying America. He also learned some English words at his school which was an equivalent to kindergarten. He apparently lives in a foster/group home and goes to a separate school.

Day 4 Observations:

Whoever coined the term, "He dropped everything and came" must have been observing Jude. He literally drops the toys in his hand and runs to me when I call him.

He is joyful.

He likes the pool!

Day 3

NO, that bear will not fit in his small backpack, he just got to hug it. This morning we met the other two families who are hosting at ARC Park. It was so great to see them hug each other and converse in their native tongue. From what I could gather from stalking them with my camera, recording them, sending it to Tianni in the Midwest and awaiting her reply, Andy (red shirt 13) and Jude (ours) were giving Han a pep talk about enjoying his time in America.
After they chatted with Tianni on the phone finding out their return date and to confirm they all 3 would be returning, Andy grabbed the phone and had Tianni translate, "Teacher, tell them I do NOT want to go back to China". I tell you, everything Kristy Porterfield (FB link) says about Andy is true! A GEM! Extremely adaptable! Even with CP, he is not has unlimited determination! He wrapped his arms around Jude to hoist him in the swing!

See "Baba" photo bombing? Later I took the kids swimming. Put the life jacket on, he walked in and then it was like he was zero gravity. Floating around, not sure how to put his feet down, spiting out the water that got in his mouth, it was a sight. I think it was his first time ever in a pool. I walked around with him like I did my own babies, bouncing him up and down, trying to teach him to blow bubbles etc. By the end of the 2 hours, after he sat on the step and observed other kids, he pinched his nose, put his face in and blew bubbles. He even graduated from the life jacket to the float.

Afterwards, my sister hosted us for dinner, we taught him the "try to get your hands away before we slap them" game- which he loved, then went home.

He found a Tangram set and worked them in bed while Nathan read. He went to the bathroom and when he returned Perry was hiding in his bed. Jude jumped right in, kneed Perry in the head and then laughed hysterically when Perry surprised him!

Day 3 Observations:

Not afraid to try new things.

Eats absolutely every thing off of his plate every single time.

Has never complained about anything.

He really is enjoying each experience.

He is smart! He likes figuring things out.