Brothers

Nathan spent the first 10 years without a brother. He has a great older cousin who he gels with and they act like best bros when together, but never a live in brother.

It has actually been very beautiful watching God graft Junhan into our family. At first we were worried that Nathan would feel slighted, being the only boy, having the new kid show up. But in true, beyond what we can imagine fashion, God is knocking our socks off with brotherly love.

Nathan and Junhan LOVE  each other. They love building Legos, fishing, Nerf wars, riding scooters, chasing each other, and discovering things... i.e. what happens if you shoot a leaf blower at your brother.

They will intently listen to each other describe some mind numbing Lego creation or super hero attack.

Today at church, like every other Sunday they were busy being so into each other, I was worried they were distracting the crowd. They had found some straws, cut holes, and were playing their straw piccolos along with the worship music. Nathan was playing Junhan's back like a drum, they are hugging, they have their arms around each other, I am closing my eyes trying to concentrate on Jesus.

I look over and see a mom I do not know, smiling at me. I roll my eyes at her, trying to apologize that my boys' antics are distracting her. After church she comes over to introduce herself to us. She has been coming to our church for a couple of weeks. Week one she sees my boys interact and is brought to tears. You see she has a blonde biological son about 4 and an adopted 2 yr old son from China. They are church shopping and when she saw our boys it was a sweet glance into her future. She said she felt like God affirmed them that this was their church by watching our boys. The next week, the girls and I were on time, and Perry and the boys were late. She looked over and didn't see them. She said to her husband, "where are my boys?". They came in bouncing a few minutes later. She can't miss them since Junhan picks out the SAME neon shirt I got from the Doerflers a couple weeks ago.

 Today, Nathan dressed in neon like his brother.
After the service, in the bathroom, another friend said to me, "It blesses me so much to see the love your boys share."
Huh. I was worried that it would distract people from God, turns out He is using it to point people to Him. You see, Jesus IS knitting us together! We were scared Nathan would feel slighted, but instead he has been blessed, beyond what we could have asked or imagined.
Junhan is the brother Nathan never knew he wanted, but cannot imagine living without.

Been Home for 2 Weeks

Junhan gives his new family a thumbs up! (Really he liked the food my Chinese friend made him). It is honestly hard to remember the papers and the LOOOOOONG process it took to get here. Seriously. Feels like a lifetime ago that we were in China. Every day I live in the moment. I am very present in my life (haven't always been). I am very thankful for the flexibility of summer. God's timing was perfect at every turn for our family with this adoption. Every day he trusts us more. He is super affectionate! He lights up when he sees us and is only looking to us for attention. As far as adoptions go, I feel like we have a lot of positive ingredients. I attribute most of his adaptation and connection to us to his loving foster family (and your countless prayers). He has spoken to them 3 times since being home. They are incredible mature and supportive of this adoption. It reminds me of the story in the Bible where 2 women claim that the baby is theirs. The judge orders the baby to be cut in half and the biological mom surrenders her rights to the baby and says, "give him to her!" to preserve the baby's life. I feel like Fu Mama did that. She loves him enough to know this is best for him. She can't keep him. In fact, the government required him to return to the orphanage these past 2 years for school. She actually has more contact with him now. She is very respectful and lets us contact her. She knows he has a future with us.

 My brother and wife gave our other kids some money to spend on experiences with their new brother. They each chipped in some and bought an Children's Museum membership. Although we had previously aged out of this, they experienced new delight in watching their brother experience it anew. His delighted squeals when the apples came down the chutes, his bouncing up the tree house, him enjoying the ambulance..... 2 of them also used their money to buy him a toy from the gift shop (hope he doesn't think I buy stuff wherever we go).

He has had some periods of grief. Crying without being able to express why. But even in the grief he burrows into us. I am sure there are hard times to come, but I am thankful for today! Thankful for my church friends, my school friends, my pool friends, my long time friends, and my family who have supported and blessed us on this adventure! Perry and I realized, we REALLY DO LOVE THIS KID! An answer to prayer for sure. We delight in him as we do our others! Praising God for how He is knitting us together.

A Great Cloud of Witnesses

Well, today is the day. This is what we have been "training for". I see Jesus gently jogging ahead of Perry and I leading us through a cross country trail of sorts. Trying to fix our eyes on Him as he helps us dodge the obstacles in our path, trusting Him as He winds us through uncharted territory.

And as we are running, I hear you all cheering us on. I see you, friends, passing the baton to the next friend, as you jog alongside us for a stint. I see you on the side of the path shouting words of encouragement as we run past you. Thank you.  We are NOT alone. We are following the Greatest and we see, feel, and hear you...helping us to keep running.

This is what you are shouting:
-I'll do anything you need me to do
-Let me help you pack
-Use my suitcase
-Have this money
-Take my purse to use
-I'll fold your laundry
-Here is a rice cooker
-I've printed these Scripture cards out for you
-Text me anytime
-I'll take your kids where there need to go
-I could be there tomorrow if you need me
-Don't worry about a thing
-I'm happy to love on your children for the next 9 days
-I'll meet you at the airport
-Let us pray over you
-Let me make a meal sign up for you
-I'm praying for you
-I'm thinking about you
-You got this
-I'll post your syllabus for you
-I'll wrap that gift for you
-I will make you cool t-shirts to wear
-Here is a text, email, post of encouragement....

I'm overwhelmed by your support. Really. I'm overwhelmed by His provision. Every. single. step. of the way. I feel unworthy, scared, excited, dependent.

We will go where He sends us.

As a friend reminded me this morning, "Each change that is made in our families, is a death to our old family in a sense." She is right. Things will never be the same. I am praying they will be deeper and richer. One thing is for sure, I will follow my Heavenly Father. Joseph followed Him and he was beat, thrown in a pit, sold, slandered, and then was used to save God's chosen people.
Remind me if you see me in the pit, Egypt is ahead.

I read this recently:
"The only way anyone gets to adoption is through a door of loss and unless you fully feel the depth of that loss, the door you're walking through leads to nowhere honest."
"There are scars you can't erase, all you can do is write more love into them".

So- obviously I am an emotional ball of mess. Taking one foot and putting it in front of the other. Super excited about this adventure and very aware of my constant neediness.

My adoption into Christ's family through His blood, all the more rich.
If I had a theme song these past few days, it would be this: He is God of the hills and valleys.

theme song
I love you guys! Thank you for jogging with us!

Hills and Valleys

Tauren Wells

I've walked among the shadows
You wiped my tears away
And I've felt the pain of heartbreak
And I've seen the brighter days
And I've prayed prayers to heaven from my lowestplace
And I have held the blessings
God, you give and take away

No matter what I have, Your grace is enough
No matter where I am, I'm standing in Your love

On the mountains, I will bow my life
To the one who set me there
In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there
When I'm standing on the mountain aft, didn't get there on my own
When I'm walking through the valley end, no I am not alone!
You're God of the hills and valleys!
Hills and Valleys!
God of the hills and valleys
And I am not alone!

I've watched my dreams get broken
In you I hope again!
No matter what I know
Know I'm safe inside Your hand

On the mountains, I will bow my life
To the one who set me there
In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there
When I'm standing on the mountain aft, didn't get there on my own
When I'm walking through the valley end, no I am not alone!
You're God of the hills and valleys!
Hills and Valleys!
God of the hills and valleys
And I am not alone!

Father, you give and take away
Every joy and every pain
Through it all you will remain
Over it all!

Father, you give and take away
Every joy and every pain
Through it all you will remain
Over it all!

(
And I am not alone!

And I will choose to say "Blessed be Your name, yeah, yeah"

And I am not alone

Travel Approval!

Last week, Lynn said we should get a soft TA on Tuesday 6/27, but we would have to wait until I had the actual document in hand to travel. With the 4th approaching she thought the earliest we would travel was 7/13 (you travel on a Thursday).

Well on Tuesday, 6/27 I sent her an email, "I am sure you will let me know if we get TA. Just checking in". She wrote back at 5:00, "You actually got it 6/26, I put it in the mail to you".

WHAT?! I wrote back, "Any chance we can travel 7/6?" Well Lynn got that message later Tuesday and since China is 12 hours ahead, she contacted her fellow employees in country and asked for a 7/10 meeting day at the orphanage. I got the actual paper in hand Wednesday!

By the time I spoke to Lynn on Wednesday morning, she confirmed the orphanage date! The last 48 hours have been a blur. A stress migraine rendered me useless for much of it. My dear friend organized an impromptu prayer meeting at her house. These dear folks, with hours of notice, gathered to pray over us. SUCH a special time! SO loved by these folks and so many others.

Booked the flights. We return Thursday July 20th at 11:58pm...sorry about that.

Started a private FB group ALL THE WAY TO JUN HAN if you are interested in joining. I think that will be easier to update instead of blog.

I have a WeChat if you want to download the app. My id is rebeccaperry  

Please continue to pray not only for sanity and thinking things through, but for Jun Han as he and his foster family prepare to see us one week from Monday.

So thankful for the support we have received this week. Friends surrounding us, praying for us, buying thoughtful things for us, lending us suitcases, buying us a rice cooker, wrapping presents, crossing things off my to do list.

We leave Thursday afternoon.

Not Long Now (DC Tour)

In the 18 days since I last updated, A LOT has happened:
Our visas have been processed and returned
Our Article 5 has been picked up from Guangzhou
Fellow host child, Andy,  has been officially adopted!
And we are on our last waiting step....Just waiting for Travel Approval!

T.A. usually is issued by the Chinese Government about 1-3 weeks after Article 5. Once it is "issued" we have been formally invited by China to come over and adopt. We have 90 days to use that approval. Our agency then frantically works to get our appointments set in China, hotels and flights booked, and guides lined up. Still a lot of details to fall into place, but this is happening.

A dear friend of ours was able to schedule some White House tours for us, so we took this opportunity to spend the night in NoVA (too cheap for DC prices) and tour DC a bit. Our last family vacation just the 5 of us.  Here we are outside of the West Wing

Please pray as we think through packing, gifts, our children as we will be gone from them for 2 weeks, and mounds of details. Also, for heart preparation for our new son MJHP and his foster parents as they are going to be grieving this separation.

White House Movie Theater

Official State Dining Room. Abigail is talking to a Secret Service agent who is telling her about the different dogs that work in the White House, where they are hiding, and what they do. That is Lincoln over the mantel.

The press room. Ironically during the Nixon administration he was advised to bring the press closer, so he had this room built over top of a pool that FDR used for physical therapy. The empty pool houses all of the wires and equipment for this room. Also it is a fully tiled pool where White House Staffers have signed their names for years. I have ALWAYS wanted to go to the White House. Awesome to have this off my bucket list. I love how it really is the American People's house and treasured landmark. It is old and historical and because of that not incredible opulent.

The podium that caught fire during JFK's inauguration

A flag with just 38 stars

A view from the Eisenhower Building of the White House 

Moving Right Along- update

Well, we were approved for final immigration (I800) on 5/25, so my mishap only cost us an extra 2 weeks.  That was step 9 out of 15.

Yesterday I emailed the National Visa Center (NVC) and they had received our approval of step 9 from the government so they issued us a GUZ number. That was step 10 out of 15! So I applied for a visa for our son (this is the only step of this entire adoption that has been online).

At the beginning of this application it tells you it will take 2 hours to fill out. Yup. Thankfully I had help from my new friend, who is one step ahead of me. Who is my new friend you ask?

Long story short, in February we launched a Facebook campaign for a young man named Andy who was hosted at the same time as our son. He had a family pursing him for adoption, but after they were $10,000 in, they had a personal situation and they had to walk away from Andy. Andy ages out at the end of June. God provided an amazing couple who have been able to complete this process before he turns 14! In fact if all goes according to plan, they will be flying back to the US on Andy's 14th birthday! Because of his age, his mom was able to do from February which I have been working on since September. She is 10 days ahead of us in the process. She is waiting for step 13.

BUT did you read that!?!? She is 10 days ahead of us.... and is traveling in MID JUNE!
THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING! It feels so far off, but the truth is, we are in the final stages. My guess is we will travel mid July.

Tonight we submitted the online form to get an immigration visa for JH. On Monday we will mail OUR visa applications.
So as of now these steps remain:
1. finish and mail our visa applications
2. Article 5 drop off (10 days)
3. China approves us to travel (1-3 weeks)
4. We book our flights and go. (usually 1-2 weeks after travel approval)

My Misshap

Well, last I wrote, we were on step 8 out of 15. Step 9 on my timeline says "2 weeks", I am sad to say I have been on that step 4 weeks already and my '2 weeks' hasn't even started.....

So, on 4/21 I got the new home study by FedEx and I had my papers ready to go as soon as the home study came (I had to get it amended because of the move). This is a sampling of the papers I had to fill out before sending in this step 9.

I was so proud of myself. I had all of these papers ready, the label printed, and actually asked the FedEx driver to wait so I could run my package right back out to him. The package was received that Tuesday, 4/24 and so should start my 2 week process. This is when Home Land Security checks out JH to make sure he is legit and can come in our country. Well after the 2 weeks, I emailed to see what was the hold up. Turns out I did not send in the $385 fee associated with the supplement 3 form for the address change to the I800A (Is your head spinning yet? MINE IS! My brain does not work through papers. I make a list, lose the list, and then when I find the list, I am often surprised that I took care of something on my list).

Anyway, my dear social worker, who is Chinese, had to explain the English document to me. "It says issued, okay that means they have sent it to you already".

God bless her having to translate the English letter from the Government to me. So, when the pink paper arrives, I can send in the payment. That was on 5/12. The pink paper came 5/13, I wrote the check and Fed Exed it that same day. It arrived 5/15 to Texas. The officer said if I could show proof of my payment in my checking account she would push me to the next step before waiting for the Government to tell her I paid. That was generous of her.

 Every day I am checking. This morning 5/23 the check is pending. I immediately take a pic of it and send it to the officer. Hours later they write back, well, our name is not on the pic, so they can't prove it is our account. I print a statement (that is the only screen that has our name on it) and our cycle goes from 21st-22nd. So of course the pending withdrawal is not on the statement, but I circle the last 4 numbers of the account and send it in hoping it is proof enough. So I am still on step 9 out of 15. And I have been here since 4/21. SO disheartening. This is the first time I was holding up the process.

Although I am mostly distressed about it, there is a faint whisper reminding me, "God's timing is perfect. He is not surprised by this misstep. He knows what He is doing, and it is better than what I have planned. "

And just incase I am to despair, I am reminded of His faithfulness. A former student who now lives in Texas (Land of this Home Land Security Lock Box) made shirts in Chinese and English for us to wear, and a gift to give his foster parents. The package arrived with this precious picture of her children who prayed over our shirts before sending them.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"  Romans 8:28

Life Came at Us Fast!

So much to write, so little energy.

• Dossier was logged in to China on 2/23/17. We are now awaiting a match letter to our specific son (30-45 days is average wait) and then we will apply to immigrate him (I800)

• In late January, my generous sister and brother in law, forwent an investment house opportunity so that we could buy it. The owner's generous and thoughtful family named an extremely affordable price, which in turn really made a house like this a reality for our family.

•  I like to refer to it as "the time God dropped an amazing house into our laps for an even more amazing price" or "the time we moved and got 3 extra living spaces and 4 full baths for almost the same price we sold our old house". Or "Another time when God did more than we could ask or imagine!"

 (This is a before picture)

• We signed the contract in February and will the generosity of our family were able to buy it on March 1st. (They bridged a loan for us with funds they had access to).

• The last month has been a blur. Our families have worked tirelessly, literally until their hands are bleeding trying to help us clean out our new house (part of the amazing price is the owner just walked out. Leaving all of the contents. From amazing paintings and furniture to expired medication and soap from 1985) and settle us in. My mother in law worked herself to the bone for 18 days and kept our lives in motion. My parents spent countless hours at our old house painting and repairing. A team a friends painted, helped us move, helped us with our garage sales.

• Our old house went on the market on Thursday and we had 11 showings and 2 competing offers by Saturday. We close on May 5th so we can pay back our first loan and apply for a real mortgage.
• Still sorting and settling and going back and forth.
• No real conclusion....gotta run.

Happy Chinese New Year to Us!

On Wednesday, I checked a spreadsheet of adoptive families and their timelines. Three families got finger printed the same day and received their notice in the mail 1/23.

Okay, well it was 1/25, mine should be coming any day. On 1/26 I decided to call. Turns out, our "application just arrived on the officer's desk, and he had a stack of I800 priority cases on top".

So sad.

Not to mention, our adoption agency has trained 2 social workers during the time of our adoption whom have left. The one remaining faithful social worker is carrying all the weight and oh yeah.....so sick, she could go to work the end of last week. Pray for her! Endurance, health, and a careful eye.

Officer Lawrenz did say I could email him a FedEx label so that when he did get to it, it would arrive more quickly. So Friday, 1/27 I figure out how to make the label and low and behold the nice officer calls me from Kansas to ask a clarification question and then to tell us we were approved!!

He received the label I sent and should be overnighting it to Pennsylvania soon for the last piece of our dossier puzzle.

We started step 6. on 12/9, we are a couple days away from being on step 7!

Last night, we went to my friend, Judy's Chinese restaurant for our annual Chinese take out meal, our way of celebrating Chinese New Year, and a way to make sure Judy still remembers me.

And today, the most special thing happened. Through a Facebook connection, another mom realized that her son (adopted years ago) had the same foster parents as Jude! Although the boys were never in their care at the same time, this family went back in April on a heritage trip and got to meet them. They brought Jude with them to the orphanage to visit with their former foster son. See that precious boy in the background!?

My favorite quote from my FB conversation

" The foster mom specifically spoke out the wish for your son to be adopted. It was the first time adoptive parents came back to China to meet with them and so valuable to her. She saw first hand that 'her' sweet boy was loved on".

Did you read that?! Although the foster parents are very loving (mom stays home, dad owns his own printing business) the mom wants what is best for Jude.   Look at Jude's sweet foster parents! The boy was adopted 7 years ago. Man, that is going to be a tough goodbye! Seeing their sweet faces does give me a new appreciation for all they are doing to stand in the gap for these precious children. A dear former student of mine is helping create a special gift to give these 2 dear people. People whom I can never really repay for loving our son.

Oh, what a treasure to peek into his Chinese world, and what a blessing that the mother actually voiced twice that her hope for Jude was a forever family.  

Look at the timeline: April this family visits the foster family, meanwhile in America, we start thinking about hosting. We commit in May, he comes in August, we send him back with an album from our adventures, hopefully soon he will know we are coming for him and his foster mom's wish will be realized.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO US!

Snow Day = Answered Prayer!

For awhile I have been praying for a Mandarin speaking friend who lives close to us who would be willing to help us communicate when we first bring home our son. I am praying that this person would have children who speak Mandarin and our son would be able to play with them to maintain his Mandarin (assuming he has positive associations with the language and would like to keep it). As a language teacher, I would love nothing more than for him to be a well attached, loving, bilingual American.
Although race and language have never before been a qualification of mine for friendship, I am interested in our son having positive role models who look like him and with whom we can share the parts of his culture that he would like to maintain.

Today, I took our children and the 3 kids I babysit to the library because this is our 3rd snow day! I actually saw 5 of my friends and their children stroll in, coincidentally with the same idea! It truly was the highlight of my week visiting with adults while my children read books!

Anyway, Anna had a Chinese classmate from 2nd grade named Henry. She went to a different school in 3rd grade, so they lost touch. We always remembered him, because in 2nd grade he would hug her and then tickle her arm pits. For years we have fondly referred to him as Tickle Pits Henry. Well, he has grown up and when she walked by him in the library and he said, "Hi Anna!". And there sat his adorable little sister and his friendly mom! Just like any good mom would do, I went over and introduced myself to my new friend, Judy! Although slightly embarrassing, I thought, "moms would do anything to help their children", this is my answer to prayer.

We chatted for 30 minutes! She lives less than 1 mile from us and now Henry and Anna are in middle school together. They speak Mandarin!!! And she is connected to the Chinese community and was so very friendly.
She and her husband own a Chinese restaurant in Bon Air. Because all blog posts need a picture, I took a screen shot of her restaurant because, she is my friend and I'm happy to advertise for her. We exchanged contact information and when she said to her daughter in Mandarin, "Say hi to Auntie" I was both in awe that I understood her and touched that she referred to me with that term of endearment.
Feeling so incredibly blessed how the Lord is weaving our story. Thank God for this snow day!

Finger PrintED!

Last update we were on step 6 of 16. Still there although we have made a bit of progress within the step. Mailed in the I 800A asking for an appointment time on 12/9. Many weeks of mailbox stalking and

our invitation letter arrived 12/31 with an appointment date of the following Friday. Thankfully, Perry realized that he could carry one personal day over to the first week of the year, so he was able to use it after all.

Yesterday, 1/6 we got the finger prints done and now are waiting another 3 plus weeks for the approval to come back. That approval letter is the final piece to our dossier.  Our invitation was for the one day a week that I do not work! It was for 8AM and my dear mother came over at 5:15am so we could drive to Norfolk. We got there 45 minutes early. We were the first in the door at 7:45, security, paperwork, finger prints and back in the car at 8:20!
No traffic, no weather, no problems! Today, 24 hours later, there is at least 5 inches of snow between us an Norfolk! Thankful it all worked out!